Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Demise Desires

What is the least expensive funeral you can have in Utah? What is the most expensive funeral you can have in Utah. What are the important decisions regarding your death that you need to make before you pass?  How do you avoid being put on life support in a hospital for months at a time at a huge cost? 

Clay Blackmer gets transported to California
Lady in Provo who's son dies and receives a huge bill
The following was prepared by: 
Death Preparedness – by Claire Field Petersen – 801-373-1993 –

Part of Being Prepared is making Demise Desires Decisions BEFORE there is any emotion involved, and then discussing your decisions with your family members.

Anyone 18 years of age or older should make some decisions about what they would like done when they die. Begin your decision making with prayer and careful consideration.
Write down your decisions – then update your information every two or three years.

Decide what to do with body. Burial ? Cremation ? Donate ?  You decide!

Buried – Embalmed & funeral? Immediate burial-no embalming, less cost.
Where to be buried? Does the cemetery allow double deep burial?
    Less cost if the grave is opened/closed on a weekday and not on Saturday.
    Know requirements of cemetery regarding casket, grave and gravestone.
    Know difference between mortuary and storefront mortuary.

Cremation – LDS Church Bishop’s Handbook: Encourages burial, but cremation is ultimately a family decision. Being an international church, cremation in some countries is required. If person is endowed, s/he to be cremated in temple clothes.

Donate your Body – a NO-COST End-of-Life Option.
University of Utah School of Medicine is willing to receive bodies for medical education and research.
Google: Certificate of Bequeathal to know the requirements.

You SHOULD HAVE: a Living Will.
Directive for Medical Services – be specific.
Designate person with Power of Attorney for your health care.    
Obituary – write it yourself!
Be sure name and birth date are correct, names of parents correct, and you get credit for things you have done, and not for things you have not done.

List of people to contact when you pass – with phone numbers and email addresses.

Worldly treasures – designate who is to get what. Don’t let the stuff you leave behind destroy your family!!! De-clutter your home of excess.

Write your testimony of what you know to be true; sign and date it. Write your life history. Label your photographs.

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, … a house of order …a house of God” (D&C 88:119).

Making Demise Desires decisions is part of preparing every needful thing!
 VITAL STATISTICS - Following info goes on Utah Death Certificate – as of June 2020
FULL NAME                                                               “Nickname”

Decedent Information
Date of Death:                        Time of Death:
City of Death:                        County of Death:
Age:                            Date of Birth:
Place of Birth:                        Sex
Armed Services:                    Marital Status:
Spouse’s Name:                    Usual Occupation:
Industry/Business                    Education:
Residence:                        Father’s Name
Mother’s Name:                    Facility Type:
Facility or Address: (of where person died)

Informant Information
Name:                             Relationship:
Mailing Address:

Disposition Information
Method of Disposition:  
Place of Disposition:   
Date of Disposition:
Funeral Home Information       
Funeral Home:           
Funeral Director:              
Medical Certification             
Certifying Physician:           

Cause of Death
Other significant conditions
Tobacco Use:
Medical Examiner Contacted:       Autopsy Performed:    Manner of Death:

Injury Information                    Time of Injury:
Date of Injury:                        Place of Injury
Injury at Work:             [If military & want honors, have papers ready.   
Location of Injury:            [Where to be buried. Know rules of cemetery
How Injury occurred:            [Double deep? Gravestone allowed?
Motor Vehicle Accident:         [Person responsible for funeral arrangements.
                    [Who will sign death certificate? 
Date Registered:                    [How many original copies of certificate needed?
Date Issued                [Cheaper to order # at same time. 
Date­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_______________________, I, _______________________(name) PROMISE TO:

Fill in vital Statistics Information Sheet                 Being Mortal – book
Discuss my Demise Desires with family members.             By Atul Gawande
Burial or Cremation or Donate Body – you make that decision.               Great Read!
Where to be buried – out of county or state – more cost.
What to be buried in – clothing – vault or casket – weekdays less
Immediate Burial, Funeral w/wo viewing, Memorial Celebration
Write Your Obituary – so the facts are correct.
Write list of people to contact when I pass – with phone # & email addresses.

You NEED a Living Will or Directive for Medical Services
    Get a POLST  Form– Provider Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment
   A written statement describing your wishes about how much medical care, including life support systems, is desired in the event you are diagnosed with a terminal illness, but ae unable to communicate. It gives direction to whoever is caring for you, be it family, friends, hospitals, clinics, or other health care facilities.
    Do Not Resuscitate. Keep me comfortable with pain medications. 
What does a POLST form look like?
Where do you get this form?

    A legal document wherein you have named an individual to make medical decisions on your behalf in the event you are unable to do so. That person is to ensure that you are treated according to your wishes, your goals, your values and beliefs.
    If you haven’t made such preparations in advance, your family and other loved ones may not be allowed to follow what you really desire on your behalf.
Get Organized, Make a Notebook
Just because you can’t take it with you – does not mean you can leave it in a mess!
Create a Grab and Go Book–specific papers & information about your  home, estate, will.
Write your Life History – Your Testimony of what you know to be true.
Label photographs–especially of your deceased family members.  Payable on Death-POD
Photos of your Worldly Treasures–and tell why they are treasures.    Gift Cards-use them.
Designate who is to get what, including jewelry. Student Loans & Taxes even after death.
Destroy out-of-date medicines, expired food storage.
Book: The life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo – borrow from Library.

I promise to throw something away or recycle this week!
Permission to use your BEST of EVERYTHING NOW!
Booklet: DON’T LET the Stuff you leave behind DESTROY your FAMILY - $8. By Kenneth G. Hansen – 801-399-9500 – Bountiful, Utah

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming: WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!!  -801-373-1993 – Provo, UT
Hi, as you may know we have a Gardiner Trust which spells out what is to be done both medically and monetarily when we die. While we are currently in good health, the day will come when we return to that God who gave us life. In preparation for that distant day we want to get your input. Of our possessions, what are you interested in inheriting? Here is a list. You can be as specific or as general as you like. Don’t be shy because the information we receive regarding your desires will be considered in our final arrangements.  Above all when we are gone what we desire most is peace in the family.  Possessions come and go but our relationships with each other is most important.  Love you all, Kent and Deborah

1. Marklin Train Layout including engines, cars, buildings, marlin station and track
2. Family history objects like things in our cubbies, JHG’s WWII uniform, Elaine’s clothing, FH Books, Crystal Radio Set, Kent’s scriptures, Suzanne’s scriptures, Scholl photographs, Brown photographs, Hulet photographs, Palmblad photographs, MG model cars, Robert&Margaret diorama, Fred Gardiner anvil and Joseph Smith book, Elaine’s homemade Halloween outfits for Kent, Kent’s railroad lantern and lock, Augustus Scholl WWI dog tag, James Brown dog tag, James Gardiner dog tag, Art Instillation showing how long our ancestors lived, blue & white Jim Brown chandelier in office, Jim Brown AZ framed art in guest bedroom, Kelsie Langlois art of Kent’s mission, Kent’s framed UES photos (kids on bridge and rocketry class)
3. Books which include all of Kent’s published FH books, church books, children’s books
4. Food storage including canned storage rack, generic storage racks, freeze dried food, medical & emergency supplies, 
5. Camping equipment including sleeping bags, tents, fishing gear, fishing poles, chairs 
6. Tools including the tall metal cabinets, garden tools, power tools, drills, hand tools, George Scholl work bench, metal shelving racks
7.  Furniture Upstairs:
Office: white desk, credenza, 2 swivel chairs, blue bench, area rug
Living Room:  Ikea cabinets, couch, 2 blue chairs, matching living room ottomans, large area rug, stacking table set
Dining Room:  Dining table & 8 grey leather chairs, Modern English Clock
Master Bedroom:  Bed, 2 nightstands, chest of drawers, chair, 2 Lamps
Guest Bedroom:  Bed, 2 nightstands, bench, 2 Lamps
Furniture Downstairs:
Family Room:  Couch, 2 chairs, chair 1/2, leather ottoman, marble end table
Bedroom: Bed, 2 nightstands, blue cabinet, chair, 2 Lamps
Train Room:  2 upholstered striped chairs, 2 dining chairs, Mary’s formica desk
8. Family History hard drives, computer, iPads, laser printer, 800 CD’s mainly classical and old rock & roll
9. Artwork including Brett’s art in office, mobile in entry, Kent’s entry art explosion, Kent’s Tibble Fork Reservoir art piece, Deborah’s tree of life, Kent’s 2 abstract basement art canvases, Liz Palmblad art, Sun mirror, framed FH photos in basement
10. Misc holiday decorations and Christmas which includes, trees, small FH frames, greenery, outdoor lights, ornaments, nativities
11.  Kent & Deborah’s clothing, jewelry & shoes
12.  Bedding quilts, blankets, towels, sheets & pillows
13.  Kitchen dishes, pots & pans, small appliances, serving dishes (upstairs and downstairs), glasses, etc.
14.  Misc. home decor & artwork
15.  Maintenance of Gathering Gardiner’s blog. This will be accompanied with a yearly stipend (amount tbd).